There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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