HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
