let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sorry my hands just texted you
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
