Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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