I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
