but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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