What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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