before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This baby is an asshole
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
as a side note pls kill me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
