sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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