I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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