Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
