is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
