Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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