I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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