So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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