apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
