This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm going to jail i love you
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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