summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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