I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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