Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
