just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
