Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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