I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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