yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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