U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
