All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize