Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
