He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize