My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize