What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize