that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
