singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i think i have two assholes
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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