is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's never too late to be topless.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
