I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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