There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
