Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
