Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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