I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
