I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize