we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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