Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
