I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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