I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
