We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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