yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
