Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
