i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
