You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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