google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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