u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
