i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
