Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
