wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
