I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
