one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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