if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
