Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
