oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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